Thursday, 29 September 2011




Iv been so lazy about updating my blog, but all the events that happened ONE weekend i went to Ghana with my girls and their girls as well just gave me ginger. I hear about crazy stuff that babes do, and i have experienced a bit of their insanity but not like this GHANA weekend ,to me, what i experienced is way awesome than being in the BBA house.
You see many of  YOU are guilty of dating married men ,crashing weddings with your promiscuous life styles , having threesomes , taking money for sex , sleeping with a best friends boo, but really i think YOU  have a big problem if you cannot protect your image by hiding it , and if you are shameless? PRETEND to hide it...duh!!!!
During the vacation,i hung out with my girl Karr and some of our other friends in common ,well those of us that could bond did and the others just tried. Of all the girls i met, im gonna talk about just two of the babes who had the most outrageous behaviours , well its not like i'm a saint duuhhhhh im RUDEBABE007 but then being 007 means i am coded.
Lets meet SISTER MONEY FOR HAND : Before we all came on the trip we had the impression that sister MFH was a born again christian, the reason is because she went on about religious stuff, so some how i had this great respect for her, and so did the other girls as well. You see sister MFH had invited us for a church programme which fell on the agreed date for our club night, so no one wanted to go, i was so surprised when she appeared in front of my hotel suite in hot pants a top, bright and red lipstick , damn!the size of her ass could send any man to hell. when i quizzed her about her church waka and her dressing as well, she replied saying its not all about appearance but its in the mind. i kuku sharrap. We got to the club looking hot and having a swell time until we ran into our top shot friends *wink* you know how i roll now. we chatted and had a few drinks . Time to go home , the babe nor wan go house o! she had the effrontery to tell me to tell one of my friends (who had told me earlier on that  he didn't like her cos she looked desperate) that she's a classy babe and would like to get paid well to give him a perfect treat that night..WHAT!!!!! are you kidding me byiatch ,do i look like a procurer? i ignored her obviously and asked her to respect her self. Well we finally left for the hotel and i made sure she followed us back cos QOC had already shocked us that night. As a drama queen that she is , she quickly faked a call and started sounding like her boyfriend needed her back home and he would flog her shegey shegey if she didn't return (she lives in Ghana), of course i didn't fall for that (my sisters and I call it gsm wahala), i shared this with the girls, but they all said i should give her some credit. The next day being sunday morning , i realised my bendy rollers weren't with me, so i figured it had to be with her, so i asked Tey to call her , do you know that this pant of a girl Sm'sd Tey saying she was in church and couldn't take calls....omg!!! who does that???? who lies with church. Do you know this babe went back to the guys hotel to give him a treat, you wanna know how i found out??? a little bird told me...SMH

Lets meet QUEEN OF THE COAST : we called her that cos she segregated herself from every one else and thats because she had a mental problem called Narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school/social gatherings.(im nt a doctor but google is my friend)
The symptoms include :
  • Believing that you're better than others
  • Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration
  • Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
  • Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
  • Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
  • Taking advantage of others
  • Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
  • Being jealous of others
  • Believing that others are jealous of you
  • Trouble keeping healthy relationships
  • Setting unrealistic goals
  • Being easily hurt and rejected
  • Having a fragile self-esteem 
she refused to associate with any one because she felt she was the fairest of all , well she was actually very white and had knuckles that would make your pot and kettle say "see knuckles calling us black".....i like yellow girls and i wish i was a yellow babe but i don’t think i want to be looking for a skin donor by the time im 30. lemme get straight to the point, why on earth would you carry 8 bottles of perfume along with you, when seven are empty....before u talk ,see my proof, who sent it to me? that same little bird.(if you can't count 8 bottles,go back to nursery!!!!)
On the club night, 'date' with my girls BABA AGABA,( im calling him that  because he is older than my papa), came to  famz with us ,and in less than 5 minutes QOC was slow dancing with him. His big tummy did not even allow him to grind her like I wanted…chei!!
Time to go home ,QOC was no where to be found, then the bar man came to us with a note, and it read ‘y’all can leave without me, im having a swell time’, and that’s how we left without her.
The one that made me say CHINEKE GOD was when I went to open the door for my amebo colleagues that early sunday morning to deliberate over SISTER MONEY FOR HAND’S MISDEMEANOUR, what i sw was annoying!!!!!! I saw QOC French kissing BABA AGBA as she bade him good bye.(I almost fainted), she wasn’t even shocked, she even giggled the more when she saw US!!! PLEASE IS IT IN FASHION TO BE KISSING A DIRTY OLD RICH MAN?????EEEEEWWWW!!!!! DUMB girlssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

In my opinion it is very important not to wash your dirty laundry in public. God Bless Us All. Im not judging im #JUSTSAYING


Sunday, 11 September 2011


My friends have given me tales of how they took a lift from a guy with a very sleek ride and they ended up with him,or gave him a very big NO! NO!. yeee ELA OJU KAN PT 1!!!,OR WORSE STILL THE GUY ENDED up taking them to a place where they never planned to visit, leaving them with the option of running for their lives,or getting raped(hardluck).
Well for some very good reasons which can be traced back to my mom, during my university days and beyond i have vehemently refused to take lifts from every guy that has stopped to help or destroy me,but this day was a very different day, i was trying to get a cab in front of Citymall after a lovely Karaoke Night @ Swe bar,*Minxie my big and beautiful friend was supposed to hail a cab wif me but NO! she was kissing *Dimples in one corner, i dnt blame her(i chose my strict single status). While walking down in search of a cheap cab (before all those red cab drivers drain ma purse), this perv comes out of nowhere and starts pulling me, o my days!,how do i fight this one off now,then suddenly one sleek WHITE RANGE ROVER SPORT stops and the driver yells 'leave her alone',me sef i shock! the guy obviously left me,and this is where my ordeal began....
Hey beautiful hop in so i can take you home before somebody hurts you, the usual response now 'no thankyou', and he's like 'ok fine,the guy may be hiding under that tree o!' with that statement i thought about my 15 hymen's (i used to have 16,i gave one to ma ex)and how i didn't want to lose them to a rapist,make i nor lie the car and d owner were too cute for me to say 'No' again, so i hopped in.We got talking and flowed like we had known each other for ages, when we finally got to my house,i really wished we could keep talking,but i had to leave,it was pretty late.we exchanged numbers and i thought to myself maybe i shouldnt be single,he might not be that bad(chai oju kokoro) .
The next day he called me and this time after i replied 'im fine thank you', he blurted it out,'i want you to be my girlfriend', 'omg isn't that too forward' was my response, but he replied saying as you know i'm married,iv been with my wife for 16years and i really like you cos your an attractive pretty young girl,i will take care of you o! don't do old men o!! and don't follow all those single guys !!they lie alot,they'll promise you marriage and all. My jaw dropped!!!what happened to my prince charming, how can he be married for 16 years!!!!!!, i swear i checked his fingers for a wedding band and i didn't see any...oh my God.
The thing that really pained me in this matter is when he said 'so when shall we consummate and i'm like excuse me?? and he's like 'eh u know its gonna be about the sex now', so i replied,'so when are you gonna impress me,you know you have to really impress me', then he said 'what do you want baby', and i'm like to get me to date you,i want a WHITE RANGE SPORT,an ipad2 and an allowance of 500k into my account every month......the next thing i hear,lemme call u back,iv just been notified for a meeting.
i can't remember receiving a call from him since then,but seriously he's one hell of a douche bag!! if u need an ashawo please kindly visit Sanusi Fafunwa street by 10pm...ODE!!!!