KERESIMESI LIST, TEN OVER TEN

Dear Santa,

                 how are you baby, its been ages since i saw you, gosh I'm equivalent to a wife or girlfriend of a soldier at war, just because our relationship is like that of the cactus plant and a balloon. You cant live outside the North pole and i cant live with you because ill freeze to death. i wonder whats taking your scientist friends so long to discover the antidote for cold, will i get old and grey before i can spend the rest of my life with you? (that's a rhetoric question baby). How's Rudolph? loll iv been seeing funny animation about him this season, there"s one where he almost killed a hunter cos he saw a red nosed reindeer on the wall, hilarious!!! They don't know Rudolph's nose is a gift, and he alone has it.

I really miss you baby, iv been ogling at your pics since the beginning of this year. Cant wait to eat cookies and milk with you,plus jump hug you, when you come in through the backyard door.

Baby this year i have a list shaaaaar as usual, and you cant say NO to me because i have been a very good girl.

                                      MY LIST

• I want an iphone 5, btw the rumour is that the phone is transparent,just like the one T-pain used in the 5 o clock video, some people say its the iphone4s, wish wan consine me,so far you can give it to me :D.
• I want an ipad 2, just because i have been faithful to you darling
• I want a car, a black MDX ACURA SUV
• I want more readers
• I want one of those jeans from Rihanna's collabo with Emporio Armani

• I want one of those Emilio Pucci's clutch bags, i cant decide if i want the pink or orange
• I want to hangout with my look alike Mocheddah(dem say we get big nose,but we smelling money)


• I want one of these zara bags above
• i want  to be very buoyant and happy
• And lastly all i want for CHRISTMAS IS YOU....BABY!!                                                                

MEN DOWN!!!!!

 

' You are supposed to be have somebody serious in your life!! i don't even hear you talk about any male, when its not as if you are a lesbian' ha! mummy e biakwa was what i said in my mind, well at least she doesn't think i am a lesbian.
This issue of settling down is really becoming a bone in my throat, is it a bad thing to finish school on time? i thought this disturbances only surface when age has started showing on your face. The other day my mom and i went shopping and then my she saw these cute little male baby shoes (baby timberland's), and then she exclaimed with joy, oh! these are beautiful, and I'm like o common mom! you cant be carrying pregnancy about now!!, and then all i saw was my mother eyeing me and saying she could have bought it for her Grand son if only she had one, and that she couldn't wait any longer. it just clicked that she was referring to me, nhian!! we never talk marriage issue finish , na pikin we wan begin battle? Thank God I'm not the only female child, as shante's mother would say, it may be the first or the last, i don't have to be the first to marry. Boyfriend's are scarce commodity these days talk more of husband, its easy to find somebody who wants to have you as a regular straffing mate, but its not easy to find somebody who wants to be with only you, talk more of live with you forever. These days all the guys have the same story line, its either they have had their hearts broken so they are scared of girls or they just got out of a long term relationship of which,if you shook your head inside na you go carry last, cos there's a high possibility that he and his EX would get back together or he would dump you, you know why darling???? you are the REBOUND GIRL!!
The ratio of guys to girls is not balanced at all that's why they can misbehave and talk nonsense(im not a male chauvinist) #justsaying.
When i was in camp i had a camp bobo, and the funny thing is that the guy dey craze for me scarra scarra!! even though i pretended not to see the love, people around me could feel it and they expected us to be 5 and 6 after camp,but of course not, i dissociated my self from him!! you wanna know why? he had a girlfriend, and he told me he would dump her for me if i dated him,can u imagine that? what do we call that RISK BARGAIN? So he would only dump her if i said yes!!kmt!!i nor kuku love am back so let him buru gawa(carry go).

lets analyze some issues; 

*Majida's case was different! do you know she dated Bode for two years, of course she knew the EX was still shooking her head but the issue was dealt with by him, even i was convinced as well because Bode engaged Majida 6months ago and the story of the Ex never surfaced again. But he fooled us all ,because last week Saturday he married his estranged Ex, no quarrel,no issues, no kwanta.......bet why?

*Ope nko? she had been dating this dude o! in fact if you had seen them you would have known my friend was in love, but there was something i saw, nobody else did, he really liked her but he just wasn't down, you can tell that through body and eye contact of the couple involved. okay 3months after, THANK YOU JESUS it was just 3months, Dominic said he needed space to find himself, that the love had choked him and that his EX has been disturbing him and his family members. MAD MAN!!!

*Linda met this nice dude and even though she made the first move,well she's crazy like that, she did not intend to keep him ,she only wanted to borrow him for one night (permit my language). Mr man will not rest so he stalks her,gets her digits and her home address. As I'm writing this now he still gives her unwanted calls and visits her at her house. He is not such a bad looking guy o, in fact he will make Ramsey Noah loose self confidence, but the reason why we nor go gree for this hottie is because he sings the same song all his male counterparts sing 'i have a girlfriend Linda,but i really like you, lets work something out now, she's not an issue!!' she's not an issue and you cant break up with her. ODE!!!!

*Titi has been dating this guy since university, after graduation she went for masters just because she wanted to be close to her beau,(he left for masters too). He now works in the UK and is very accomplished and she is still with him and playing the part of wifey. Her eye go soon clear when he would wake up one morning and say he is gay or he has found a sisi in his village because she is too old. What is stopping him from making a commitment? i don't know! Ibo's will refer to this relationship inhie a wehin ishi na odu, (e nor get head nor tail) btw they have been dating for 10 years.

Anyways its not by being in a relationship or being single that paves the way to a better ending, nothing in this life is ever sure, there is no hard and fast rule to a happy ending. That's why i pray every day that my #dearfuturehusband should just come fast fast because i don't want to go through all this trial and error process before we tie the knot. As for dating, well lets date for the right reasons, and not for very selfish reasons, if not this so called love will just make you commit suicide one day. To whom it may concern please Minxie,Coco,Marks and I do not want to be cajoled into any by force marriage or relationship, things will happen naturally. I speak on behalf of every young girl there that's being pestered, the boyfriend/husband market is not moving at all. We need prayers.
NB 

Dear Single/Eligible Bachelors please feel free to walk up to us SINGLE ladies, we don't bite!!! (I DOUBT IF THERE ARE ANY SINGLE GUYS LEFT SHA)#JUSTSAYING

 Dear Single/Eligible Bachelorettes  please feel free to when HE finally shows face!!!!!!!!! (DON'T FORGET TO FAST AND KABASH)

I don't know what the problem is, but its best to speak out than to die in silence, size has now become a thing of controversy.
At a point in my life i came close to being a size 6,i'm saying this because i was a little bit thinner than a small size 8 girl, and i noticed that during this period i wasn't getting the kind of attention i got when i was a size 8 and a small 10.

Minxie,Coco and Marks wear 'size 12' ,and i noticed that whenever we went out they got more of the attention than i did cos i didn't have flesh, at least that's what i think cos i overheard somebody say "gawsh is that girl not too young to be hanging out this late,plus why is she so skinny'?.
One time coco and i went out with some of our friends for my birthday @ 4points by Sheraton and then when her new catch came in with his friends ,she jokingly introduced me as her little cousin who was just turning 19,(fuck it), i didn't deny it cause it was fun at first to have them look at me like a smally, but it started to get annoying when they started to say i shouldn't touch alcohol because i had 2 more years to be a legal alcohol drinker(is it ya money?), and that i should call Coco aunty cos she was older, and also i shouldn't wait for 21 before i loose my virginity o!, if not ill be a nympho. This wasn't funny any more because all they said only meant one thing "i looked like a JUVI".

Another incident that has really pained me is when one dude ill refer to as Moo, (cos he's a mumu) (SAY THE MUMU LIKE U HAVE AN OYIBO INTONATION) actually referred to me as flat in front and flat at the back(may your teeth continue to be brown). Thank God he did not say it to my face, i would have punched him below the belt,i'm violent like that!kpsschew. How can he say that?????. Back in high school i was a nominee for bootylicious, in fact i won it. Everywhere i go people stop and stare at this asset God gave me, was he blind? or had my big BOOTY gone with the weight i had shedded?

The last straw that broke the camels back was when i went shopping with my THIRTEEN YEAR OLD baby sister, and then while we were trying out shoes in the shoe shop, i began to doubt if the leopard print flat shoe i took was worth the price and amidst all the praises and criticisms i was getting from the shop owner and my baby sister, the one wey vex me na wen she tell me sey "The shoe is fantastic, ask your friend" Ask my friend? isn't it obvious that i'm very much older than this little girl,ask my friend?
The reason why i became i size 6 aspirant is because i believed skinny was the real deal, skinny is the real deal and Arnold Schwarzenegger was sleeping with his over sized house help. Skinny is the real deal that's why all the hot gowns have to be slim fitted to fit me. Yes i know a typical Naija dude wants a babe that's not fat, but they are not saying you should emulate Isabelle Caro, cos if u do 'early grave darling'. This is Isabelle's picture below.



ISABELLE CARO was a French model and actress from Marseille, France, who became well known after appearing in a controversial ad campaign "No Anorexia" which showed Caro with vertebrae and facial bones showing under her skin in a picture by photographer Oliviero Toscan. She didn't mean to die but she meant not to get fat. R.I.P ISABELLE CARO.  My Arsenal is back plus my Manchester dey very alright with the help of Lasenza, and believe me when i went to see MOO at his crib,(yes i went that far) he almost dropped dead, and you trust i did shakara now, he even commented and said "did u put on weight"? and im like yes, then he's like you look awesome, i noticed his eyes were fixed on my BEHIND, then i said to him "well sorry boo its for my future husband" ,and he laughed his embarrassment away,(skinny mu-che-che). Now iv gotten my pound of flesh back plus i didn't forget to let him know he was too skinny and i could never ever be with a guy that wasn't Buff.

These days when i go out with my sisters i hold their hands like i'm the boss, the little fat i have now is doing alot for me, well my third sister is still very much more endowed ,but Thank God i don't look like her skinny younger sister any more.
when i walk around the office during my break, i take my time, by the way  iv made late coming a hobby of mine, so that when i walk that walk, they talk that talk.
I'm not scared of hanging out with Coco, Minxie and Marks cos iv got my groove back. so anyone who really liked me being a size 6, well thank you very much, why don't u hit the gym or go for liposuction,the size is free for all.
To all my chykers and admirers that stood by me during my skinny phase i will compensate you by going on a lot more dates with you *wink*, and those of you who are coming near me now because i look like an African lady, i don't blame you, its my future husband i blame. He's busy deceiving another girl while you people are here trying to take his prize.
i have chosen not to be skinny for my own happiness, y'all are insatiable. it doesn't pay to be skinny o! neither does it pay to be too fat. If you have seen NaetoC's 5 and 6 video, you will agree with me that skinny does not sell. #DEARFUTUREHUSBAND hurry up and come, so that all my worries will be over.


                           FOR YOUR JUDGEMENT
 

 

RUDDIE'S RANDOMS: #TEAMBECODED

RUDDIE'S RANDOMS: #TEAMBECODED

#TEAMBECODED

Iv been so lazy about updating my blog, but all the events that happened ONE weekend i went to Ghana with my girls and their girls as well just gave me ginger. I hear about crazy stuff that babes do, and i have experienced a bit of their insanity but not like this GHANA weekend ,to me, what i experienced is way awesome than being in the BBA house.

You see many of  YOU are guilty of dating married men ,crashing weddings with your promiscuous life styles , having threesomes , taking money for sex , sleeping with a best friends boo, but really i think YOU  have a big problem if you cannot protect your image by hiding it , and if you are shameless? PRETEND to hide it...duh!!!!

 

During the vacation,i hung out with my girl Karr and some of our other friends in common ,well those of us that could bond did and the others just tried. Of all the girls i met, im gonna talk about just two of the babes who had the most outrageous behaviours , well its not like i'm a saint duuhhhhh im RUDEBABE007 but then being 007 means i am coded.

Lets meet SISTER MONEY FOR HAND : Before we all came on the trip we had the impression that sister MFH was a born again christian, the reason is because she went on about religious stuff, so some how i had this great respect for her, and so did the other girls as well. You see sister MFH had invited us for a church programme which fell on the agreed date for our club night, so no one wanted to go, i was so surprised when she appeared in front of my hotel suite in hot pants a top, bright and red lipstick , damn!the size of her ass could send any man to hell. when i quizzed her about her church waka and her dressing as well, she replied saying its not all about appearance but its in the mind. i kuku sharrap. We got to the club looking hot and having a swell time until we ran into our top shot friends *wink* you know how i roll now. we chatted and had a few drinks . Time to go home , the babe nor wan go house o! she had the effrontery to tell me to tell one of my friends (who had told me earlier on that  he didn't like her cos she looked desperate) that she's a classy babe and would like to get paid well to give him a perfect treat that night..WHAT!!!!! are you kidding me byiatch ,do i look like a procurer? i ignored her obviously and asked her to respect her self. Well we finally left for the hotel and i made sure she followed us back cos QOC had already shocked us that night. As a drama queen that she is , she quickly faked a call and started sounding like her boyfriend needed her back home and he would flog her shegey shegey if she didn't return (she lives in Ghana), of course i didn't fall for that (my sisters and I call it gsm wahala), i shared this with the girls, but they all said i should give her some credit. The next day being sunday morning , i realised my bendy rollers weren't with me, so i figured it had to be with her, so i asked Tey to call her , do you know that this pant of a girl Sm'sd Tey saying she was in church and couldn't take calls....omg!!! who does that???? who lies with church. Do you know this babe went back to the guys hotel to give him a treat, you wanna know how i found out??? a little bird told me...SMH

Lets meet QUEEN OF THE COAST : we called her that cos she segregated herself from every one else and thats because she had a mental problem called Narcissistic personality disorder, Narcissistic Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school/social gatherings.(im nt a doctor but google is my friend)

The symptoms include :

• Believing that you're better than others
• Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
• Exaggerating your achievements or talents
• Expecting constant praise and admiration
• Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
• Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
• Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
• Taking advantage of others
• Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
• Being jealous of others
• Believing that others are jealous of you
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Setting unrealistic goals
• Being easily hurt and rejected
• Having a fragile self-esteem 

she refused to associate with any one because she felt she was the fairest of all , well she was actually very white and had knuckles that would make your pot and kettle say "see knuckles calling us black".....i like yellow girls and i wish i was a yellow babe but i don’t think i want to be looking for a skin donor by the time im 30. lemme get straight to the point, why on earth would you carry 8 bottles of perfume along with you, when seven are empty....before u talk ,see my proof, who sent it to me? that same little bird.(if you can't count 8 bottles,go back to nursery!!!!)

On the club night, 'date' with my girls BABA AGABA,( im calling him that  because he is older than my papa), came to  famz with us ,and in less than 5 minutes QOC was slow dancing with him. His big tummy did not even allow him to grind her like I wanted…chei!!

Time to go home ,QOC was no where to be found, then the bar man came to us with a note, and it read ‘y’all can leave without me, im having a swell time’, and that’s how we left without her.

The one that made me say CHINEKE GOD was when I went to open the door for my amebo colleagues that early sunday morning to deliberate over SISTER MONEY FOR HAND’S MISDEMEANOUR, what i sw was annoying!!!!!! I saw QOC French kissing BABA AGBA as she bade him good bye.(I almost fainted), she wasn’t even shocked, she even giggled the more when she saw US!!! PLEASE IS IT IN FASHION TO BE KISSING A DIRTY OLD RICH MAN?????EEEEEWWWW!!!!! DUMB girlssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

NB 

In my opinion it is very important not to wash your dirty laundry in public. God Bless Us All. Im not judging im #JUSTSAYING

                              

BAD ROMANCE

My friends have given me tales of how they took a lift from a guy with a very sleek ride and they ended up with him,or gave him a very big NO! NO!. yeee ELA OJU KAN PT 1!!!,OR WORSE STILL THE GUY ENDED up taking them to a place where they never planned to visit, leaving them with the option of running for their lives,or getting raped(hardluck).
Well for some very good reasons which can be traced back to my mom, during my university days and beyond i have vehemently refused to take lifts from every guy that has stopped to help or destroy me,but this day was a very different day, i was trying to get a cab in front of Citymall after a lovely Karaoke Night @ Swe bar,*Minxie my big and beautiful friend was supposed to hail a cab wif me but NO! she was kissing *Dimples in one corner, i dnt blame her(i chose my strict single status). While walking down in search of a cheap cab (before all those red cab drivers drain ma purse), this perv comes out of nowhere and starts pulling me, o my days!,how do i fight this one off now,then suddenly one sleek WHITE RANGE ROVER SPORT stops and the driver yells 'leave her alone',me sef i shock! the guy obviously left me,and this is where my ordeal began....
Hey beautiful hop in so i can take you home before somebody hurts you, the usual response now 'no thankyou', and he's like 'ok fine,the guy may be hiding under that tree o!' with that statement i thought about my 15 hymen's (i used to have 16,i gave one to ma ex)and how i didn't want to lose them to a rapist,make i nor lie the car and d owner were too cute for me to say 'No' again, so i hopped in.We got talking and flowed like we had known each other for ages, when we finally got to my house,i really wished we could keep talking,but i had to leave,it was pretty late.we exchanged numbers and i thought to myself maybe i shouldnt be single,he might not be that bad(chai oju kokoro) .
The next day he called me and this time after i replied 'im fine thank you', he blurted it out,'i want you to be my girlfriend', 'omg isn't that too forward' was my response, but he replied saying as you know i'm married,iv been with my wife for 16years and i really like you cos your an attractive pretty young girl,i will take care of you o! don't do old men o!! and don't follow all those single guys !!they lie alot,they'll promise you marriage and all. My jaw dropped!!!what happened to my prince charming, how can he be married for 16 years!!!!!!, i swear i checked his fingers for a wedding band and i didn't see any...oh my God.
The thing that really pained me in this matter is when he said 'so when shall we consummate and i'm like excuse me?? and he's like 'eh u know its gonna be about the sex now', so i replied,'so when are you gonna impress me,you know you have to really impress me', then he said 'what do you want baby', and i'm like to get me to date you,i want a WHITE RANGE SPORT,an ipad2 and an allowance of 500k into my account every month......the next thing i hear,lemme call u back,iv just been notified for a meeting.
i can't remember receiving a call from him since then,but seriously he's one hell of a douche bag!! if u need an ashawo please kindly visit Sanusi Fafunwa street by 10pm...ODE!!!! 

OLIVER TWISTS!!!!!

I was going through sisiyemmies blog and apparently i saw somethings that caught my eye.....you see im a great fan of the third leg ;-) not cos of d bedroom part o!!(coughing) but cos of its acrobatic tendencies..it can stand,wine,jump,poke,and shake, and recently i found out that its also into comedy, cos when u watch it perform,u start smiling,laughing like a hyena, or even doing something ur mama wont like (especially when ur alone).....

i wanna thank Donjazzy my husband in the world of FANTASY for making it possible for me to see this......

i was glued to this.....u should see the next one ;-)

like seriously i dint know naija dudes were so talented.....
There are some other funny ones but these two are the best so far......the guys may like the female presentations, buh these two ice the cake for me....i also like the original by the Mohit's crew,u can see it below

I really think Dr sid and Wande coal killed it joor....see Sid's waist...choi

if you wanna see more videos go to youtube and type olivertwist dance,or better still u can follow @DONJAZZY on twitter,the videos keep coming. Watch out for mine , u never know i may win the $$$$ cash...see y'all later joor.


                              

SUPER KUMANGA

This babe has been annoying me for a very long time now...like seriously,she has been very territorial about this ish and im not comfortable at all ....ahn ahn is it ha fadas own..... see it doesn't matter how rich or poor you are public property is public property. Even if her father is Fashola, today na today i must rish dia before her and use it first.....i don't care if she's known to use it, Public Property is Public property...these were the thoughts ringing in my head as i set out of my house 30mins earlier than i always do....

That morning, i had my bath really early and luckily i had picked out my clothes the night before like i was ready for some kind of battle.i wont accept nonsense now,this is democracy,everything is supposed to be free and fair. I quickly dressed up,(no need to eat,who eats around 5.30 a.m) and  raced in my beautiful heels to d front of my estate,hailed a cab and without pricing, i jumped into it because today i wanted to clear her doubts,mi o raye shit men!! i yelled at  the cab guy "baba speed o" and he reluctantly did grumbling something in yoruba..kmt yimu

As we reached the area i looked out to see if she was around buh she wasn't,i was so gingered that i didn't even collect my 200 naira change from baba.

i waited and waited and waited and waited ..of course until my staff bus came and i dint see any sign of this bitch!!! i even asked the mama beside me that sells shekpe ,ehn shekpe nw..and she sed she hadn't seen her ..i was so disappointed ,anyways tomorrow was another day.

THE NEXT DAY

Today i wasn't gonna give up,i set out early buh nt as early as yesterday sha, as i gt down from the cab i saw madam territorial cat walking towards the area (lets call her TERRY),eh! this was my chance,ill save my killer swings for the guys at the office cos i had to get there before her......and i did yelx..yelx..

she saw me sitting there o!and she still kept on loitering around me, omo i clicked ignore,bullshit mehn!!! but with the way she was looking at me eh! If it were a Matrix movie i for don burst through falomo bridge buh i nor mind...nothing was gonna move me from this spot,Only God...

and then suddenly to my greatest surprise I saw it headed towards me with great speed,nope it wasn't a car and it wasn't terry,it wasn't even a mad woman...it was that which wud make an elephant take to its heels...and it made me take to mine..I fled like all  dose people in d 2012 movie and all  I heard after my nervous break down was mmsscchewww butty na dis small rat wen dey make u fear!mmsscchew I tink say u b bozz ...hahahahaha,wif that she took over the stone seat of 'the spot' in front of the Mtn light under falomo bridge near that police mikano container.... My jaw dropped,just like that ???!!! She dint even have to work hard for that chair...and before I kud blink she brot out her wares, and iη no time all  I heard was ahn ahn I don dey fine u,gimme 200 dia! As God will have it,my staff bus arrived just in time,if not I wudda bin mocked till I cried,just imagine being mocked by shekpe sellers,okada men,cab drivers, and oda pipl chilling for dia staff buses....not a good sight my dia

I'm such an agbaya i know,but i had to prove a point now!! if not because of that styupid RAT eh, u sef u know that she wudda begged me now. sha sha i hope i have enough ginger for today o! because dat hair sale nor go easy o! every body is gonna be there and i heard that the first 40 people are gonna get a gift bag,well this particular awoof nor go run belle. See you at the GET Arena TODAY as we fight our way to buy CHEAP ORIGINAL HUMAN HAIR!!

                                    
                   

                                  

SPIRITUAL ATTACK

Im nt bou to play with your mind like i did the last time,so im just gonna hit the nail on the head,here goes I AM CONFUSED!!  seriously very confused! and you may be too buh because ur afraid to say it you wont...ha ahn wish kain tin is dis now...that it has become my passion does not mean you should make me want to hate it..

i was standing on my own jeje waiting for a cab at falomo when i saw sth bright from a distance,chukwunna wat's that,rainbows dont have just one color naaaah,even if im an olodo i knw a rainbow has 7 colors abi na 8..no its 7 na,rem ROYGBIV? if u dnt know that wan google it o...

so this colourful thing was getting closer and closer,i was almost freaking out buh i contained my self cos it seemed as if other people couldnt see it..could i be imagining things,omg!!!yea i ran temperature this morning,maybe its malaria...buh no it cant be, cos the closer it got the better view i had of this mono-rainbow, jixox!!! it was headed towards me,omg! wat have i done,i began to check my sins

• i dint lie this morning(twas too early for that)
• i dint let Debo touch ma breast yesterday when we kissed(is kissing a sin?)
• i was d wan hu put paper into grand ma's nose when she was snoring(buh i begged her now)and that was years ago,i was ten!!!!!! or maybe the people in my village were chasing me!!

All this things were all up in my head cos i was sure this mono-rainbow was a figure now and not just light but a figure!!!, for a minute i tink say na Patra buh i heard she is dead now or prob somewhere in her country doing sth apart from blogging, the figure come closer and for a brief second i almost faintedgotblinddiedressurrected........

I froze when the figure said nice hair 'his it Brazilian,Peruvian or chineese?....monorainbow spoke to me! monorainbow was real,at that point i noticed every one looking towards me, omg wat!!? or kud dey see mono too???.....den i heard it must b xpenskiv o! huh!do people really talk like that...then i smiled and said errr y r u dressed like this,amidst all she sed all i kud pick out was dancer and "hits colour blawking now" den i sed ur a dancer and she sed yelx now......my spirit fainted!!!(y did the fashion gods send monorainbow to admire me)....i woke ma spirit up and told ha Ruddie spiro lets take a piksho wif monorainbow now,and dats how i told her to pose o,and dis is wah i saw:

You have to be bold to embrace this new love of mine,not every one can pull it off. COLOUR BLOCKING is strictly for the bold, its a unisex thing and its really not by force if u have to do it,then pull it off.......check these out..

  If you do it wrongly you are going to end up looking like
 

One more thing be BOLD,play with colours,and remember wearing black shoes ALWAYS makes you a SCAREDYCAT!!!!!
                    

   

                              

SEVEN WITH ONE PUSH!!

Precious Donatus Ogbonna had been Barren for 12 years ,and this year she was blessed wif seven babies at once!yes seven babies of different ages...at once!!!!...why are you confused na? Na d tin wey dis woman wey claim to b pastor tell us o!! she must have been a serious prayer warrior to have been blessed wif  such a mysterious blessing!! Better close your mouth and believe o! Anyways this is the story so far...

Pastor Precious Donatus ogbonna had been barren for 12 years and all  of a sudden dis year she claimed to have had a multiple delivery,when asked about  the address of the hospital she put to bed, this
Pastor of Holy Ghost Salvation Ministry Owerri decided to keep that to herself..she was Ђδω ever subjected to a DNA test where she came out victorious with an 'F' fe fe fe fail!,oscof it was negative now,not even one child was hers.The test was conducted by Path care South Africa and Path care Nigeria,where it was discovered dt maternity was excluded from more dan 2 of the 15 DNA makers...for dose of u wey nor go skool,it mins she haff neva bin dia mama...The tin dat haff pain me well well iη dis story is dat she haff even tell d police that God promised her that she will have ten,meaning she haff xpect three more on d way,Ђδω? Remind me to give u ha number so u can call her and ask her.
I dunno y sunborri will b tiffin pikins wen u can actually consult people like this......all she had to do was call me for more info, kmt.

The most interesting part is the names she gave the kids,u mite wanna borrow these so ur shildren will be successful. these are their names iη order of seniority  Conqueror, Chizitere, Ekpereamaka, Fineseed, Angel, Evidence and Flourish...

Thank God she's under police custody, she may have been another otokoto...the only children I know she's gonna gett now are. Prosecution, Detention, and Lockeddown!

Anyways if u haff any name suggestions for ha 3 shildren to come plix suggest!!! Plix heffri borry hide ur pikins....

As culled from www.Amebor.com

SECRET FANTASY

Have you seen her before?,i mean in real life o!, not all dose pikshos uv been stealing from d Internet and using to do lie lie dp, gosh she's so beautiful,sophisticated and elegant. Any one walking past her ,in front of her or behind her would stop and stare and even trip....

i usually don't agree that anything or any one is perfect buh dis babe is 10/10....
THE MEETINGI met HER at one of those shoe stores in Ikota shopping complex when i went to find out if the price of the Hermes bag(i have been monitoring tey tey) had gone down by 50% of its original price. As in this was a different feeling from when you see her on line and you say to yourself "oh gosh i wish she kud be my friend", 'i wish i kud have her" and when ur boyfriend or husband catches u staring at her lustfully on the Internet or on a poster,you quickly deny that your attracted to her cos you fear he'll think your not "wife material" or "ur head nor dey ground"as some of dem would say. mttsccchew shio! is it nt ya mate that dia beau's r saying "oh hun u want Kim's butt?here"s ma credit card........ehen jarey as soon as i entered the store ,the attendant greeted me,ah oscof nw,why wont she recognise some body that has been coming into thier store every now and then to ask for the price of ONE BAG...and den wen i hear it ,i come up wif an xcuse like "when r u gonna have the red now",and then she'll b like "aunty check next month"chai if only she knew.....anyways i sha greeted ha back, as i walked further down towards the bag section,then i noticed her,and im like gosh it can't be!!!is she in Naija or she has been cloned.....my mouth dropped....
THE ENCOUNTERI walked towards her slowly to get a proper view of this chick,gosh u shudda been there....she was sooo tall like a 6ft model,from head to toe she was adorned wif mad jewelry....like they could pass for real diamonds,the way they were glittering in the light i almost went blind..jixox!! i screamed in my mind,its her!!!!!chai na she be dis!!,if there's anything i trust in my life its my Photographic memory,even if you have not seen somebody in flesh,when you know that person you know that person..i moved closer stretching out my hand to touch her,i was scared ,nervous,omg i had mixed feelings. I didn't know if touching her would make me land in Panti,btw she wasn't guarded and the shop attendant was'nt following me around...chai chukwunna...was i over reacting..i didnt want to fall my hand...one mind said "touch her joor,aren't u people shopping in the same place?", the other mind said just walk past and pick ur bag and go o!!, buh i was not gonna take NO for an answer,we dont have chicken"s in ma family ha ah.... .so i stretched out ma hand and touched her........
THE RESPONSEHer skin felt so good,i wonder what she was made of,(nw i feel like a lesbian) and so what!! i wanted to kiss her,hug her,take her home to my room and do with her whatever i pleased....i'm not the only one who feels this way about her now,all of us male or female are attracted to her,but only the BOLD like me take the big step. she smiled at me and i knew she was happy i touched her,we needed some where private so we headed to the changing room,(iv always wanted to do it in front of a mirror)this was my chance and i wasn't gonna blow it,we raced in der and then i dropped my hand bag and all may worries,FUCK the Hermes bag.....
AND MORE.....
As i placed my leg into her,she fit perfectly well,nothing was more perfect,the beauty was finally with me,she chose me. i don't care if others had been there before me,all i wanted was to live the moment. you shoulda seen the mirror view as i watched HER AND I work together to achieve one thing PERFECTION....it felt like sin.....
THE GLORIOUS WALK
I walked out of the dressing room looking so excited,then i asked the attendant 'how much are these?' then she replied #100,000 ,thats our newest arrival,i wasn't surprised, RED BOTTOMS aka CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES go as high as 800dollars and above for a pair...so i said do you have it in Black? then she replied yes o! we have it in all colours but you will make a deposit of #20,000 to show commitment and then check back next week,i sharply looked at the counter to see if d POS machine was there(it wasn't) and den i said can i pay with my atm,then she said oh yes sure!!gehn gehn gehn gehn!! jixox ma life savings,(i thought the POS machine wasn't der na)as much as i wanted this shoe i didnt intend to buy it on the spot plus i didn't want to embarrass my self by just walking out nw,babes u knw nw,guys i knw u wont support me on this one...so i brought out my ATM card and started praying hard that a miracle of some sort should happen....hew!!! i just shifted to one corner pretending to smile....gbo gbo biggs gels haff killdt me o,i shuda just paid for d Hermes o! she sha put the card in and asked me to put ma pin...i did...and like naija movies u know what happened,THE LORD DID IT AGAIN, he saved me from misery and poverty...the POS WAS DOWN!!!! down down down,down down down. So i just manned up and said ah why now!!! pls o don't let anyone buy my shoe o...(of course i was acting,Genevieve is my role model) then i walked out in my affordable heels o!! joooooor oo!ACHIEVEMENT
Today im a proud retailer of Christian Louboutin Shoes and maybe i own one in real life or as a picture on ma phone,but the thing is i sha now sell at AFFORDABLE PRICES O!! so plix people place ya orders....hehehehe.......btw its been months since i visited that store.....Maybe i should check on that Hermes Bag.....