Wednesday, 26 September 2012

I tripped on my way out ,cursing the fashion gods under my breath! *fuck these shoes*fuck this....I violently took the shoes off and ignored the sorry in echoes from the bouncers and those yeye touts @ the exit. I walked briskly barefooted towards the car-park, moving from car to car like a vampire ready to suck blood. I was that desperate and angry as well. Angry cos there's a limit to every thing,my ankle hurt as hell and those shoes were new for crying out fucking loud.Desperation on the other hand set in cos I was scared for her safety and I needed to be @ the airport for 8.00am. The touts soon began to harass me with styupid kweshuns,Sister wetin you dey find...they may be helpful I thought to my self. Abeg you don see any yellow girl wey wear red short cloth? She nor too tall,she con get body small. No we never see any body like that. Anything for the weekend? Anything for the weekend gbakwa oku! Waka sheygey! Nor b only anitn for d weekend?
I fine Bella sotey I call am tire she nor pick, frustration made me start thinking in pidgin. 
Walking barefooted ain't easy,and just as I was cautioning my spirit not to lead my feet astray, it happened,so fast! That sharp pain goddammit!u know that kind that tickles your tear ducts but you don't cry cos the pain never reach really. Yea that was it, I quietly sat down to remove the object which happened to be a small nail from under my foot, Now that's when my eyes welled up,it stung!!!!!.
Typing another bbm to Bella,and still contemplating on how to stand up and hop around in completion of my Quest, I heard a load moan, then it stopped ,then a loud scream, then it stopped, then a bang, it sounded like somebody hit their fist against thick glass. Aproko nor gree me ignore, I hopped towards the joyful noise,I really didn't mind some entertainment. Getting to the car the noise was coming from,what did I see?, a girl with her hair all over her face, it was here and there,her boobs the size of agric water melons,almost perfect. She was holding her head with 1 arm and the other was holding on to something beneath. Moving in a rhythmic motion, sometimes as if she was an ogbanje and other times as if she was dancing very fast then slowly looked like sex...wait a minute it was SEX!!! Ma very own life pornography!!! Its probably all these YNOT ashawos that dis nigga just picked up. Is fucking in the car not a crime??....hahahaha I laughed to ma self...I stayed till they were done, wanted to see who the dude with a thing for Ashawo's was, I just love catching glimpses of such guys,so I can mark them and they'll never stand a chance.I stood there waiting,I was very obvious, u must know this about me, when I'm staring i really dunno how to hide it,u can catch me and I won't be bothered. so when she probably climaxed she sat away from him and opened the door almost immediately to leave he also rose up to sit and follow her out.
There was some akward movement @ the front seat,looked like there was a 3rd person getting out of the car fom the passengers seat and the dude underneath the ashawo exiting from the back seat. Hmm..the guy getting out from the back looked like a was a girl!! Chei! I just witnessed 2 girls doing it..14 years le !!!and with the way the guy at the front seat got out,it looked or rather registered in my brain like he had just finished jerking off!cos he was adjusting his shokoto!!! I just laughed to ma self, the second thing that was funny to me was , I couldn't wait to tease Bella that the 2nd ashawo girl was wearing her type of dress,something to upset her I thought. Within the period I was having that thought and coming back to reality, it registered in ma brain that Bella was the 2nd Ashawo. Bella was the girl doing a girl, like seriously u gotta be kidding me right now. My best friend is bi-sexual???. All these thoughts in my head...I managed to scream Bella!! It was like Nigerian movie really...all I could utter to her was,ill be in my car and ill be leaving in 2minutes. She wasn't remorseful, don't know if it was the alcohol, buh she followed me quickly and yelled out her number to the dude who happens to be Kate's friend, who also happens to be so? she explained she named him Ethan cos his name was awfully long...Number 1) who does that? 2) I don't know my best friend at all. We drove home in silence....

Saturday, 22 September 2012


She doesn't really like short guys but I don't know why she makes exceptions for some. Often times I look @ her and I'm like dude??!! Why are u settling for less, and she's like 'not every one is a Lamar'. She's been single for a very long time, nor be say my status better pass her own , but I just thought I should hook her up with 1 of my friends.
It was A.y's party that day, I got and invite and so I dragged her along. We are always together anyways, she's my bestfriend and I love her cos she's not perfect but just right.
I'd love to describe Bella as spontaneous, that's the only word that comes to my mind.Physically she's portable and drop dead sexy! She's got a really cute Kim butt,thin waist,nice smile, deep dimples,white eyes,lovely even fair complexion,(we bought the bleaching cream together, but fear nor gree me use am) and a very loud laughter. She's Beautiful.
I had planned for Emeka to hook up with her @ the party,but I don't know why she wasn't feeling him? Trust me, he's that guy u wanna MARRY, He's off limits for me cos we have seen each other finish...we grew up together,he even bathed me as a toddler,and I'm sort of the sister he never had.(Ill retract this statement if I'm drunk and we have sex). Any ways she wasn't feeling him and soon got tired of the party, so we kinda had to jump clubs. Our next stop was Piccolomondo, I decided to go there cos Fawaz, the manager had just sent me a message saying the place was digging,Lynxxx was there and I think Tiwa Savage as well... I drove us there,dayumm it was packed!! News travels fast in Lagos shaaar!! Fawaz ,managed to order 2 Sex on the beach cocktails for Bella and i, while I sipped mine slowly, she gulped hers and that was it. Did I forget to mention she's a light head? Now you know! She soon started trying to kiss me, and dancing on the table as well,at that point I knew we had to go home, so i grabbed her and while we headed out, we bumped into our friend Kate, after the hugs and kisses we left, or rather I did, cos Bella wasn't following me, she had found somebody she was attracted to, the guy Kate was talking to,he wasn't tall,he was a bit light skinned, buff,cute,nice ass (too much ass for a guy if u ask me)and had a nice car and awesome job from what I gathered.He had 1 Middle belt name, I had a hard time remembering talk more of pronouncing (wasnt digging that shit). She strutted her stuff in front of him and soon engaged him in a convo, and that was it!!,they clicked. She refused to ride in my car, she was gonna ride in his...this time we were headed towards Movida. Iv never been so confused, buh I wasn't fussed cos I really wanted her to have fun.
Kate was mad @ me for not controlling ma bestie,in her words I had sabotaged her hopes for the night, it was even worse when she saw them making out on the dance floor. That night Kate stormed out of the club, grabbed a cab and disappeared. Was I supposed to control Bella,and even if I could, Kate should get over it jarey, they weren't dating, and she had denied ties with him constantly. Even in her sleep she would deny liking him. Bella on the other hand was missing, I couldn't find her or her new crush...I searched everywhere except the car park.Finally I got a bbm saying,'Car park with Ethan'. Ethan kwa!!! Omg is she gonna sleep with all the guys tonight? Who's Ethan? Like really who the Fuck is Ethan?.....

                                         TO BE CONTINUED...

Wednesday, 19 September 2012


He got outta his car and walked down the stairs of the assembly ground and straight down towards the boys dorm and then up the stairs again towards the Cafeteria. He stood at the edge of the structure looking around like he was waiting for someone, then brought out his phone and made a call. We the boarder girls part owners of the cafeteria (with the boarder boys of course) had sighted him from a distance, yellow paw-paw guy, smallish(not my spec normally),fine car,lovely face cap, and as he got closer lovely pink lips we concluded. We couldn't wait to find out who he came to see, dayumm!! where did this hottie fall from, as he took off his face cap our eyes widened and one of us Bolodeon almost fainted...she had a thing for fine boys. The long awaited moment soon reached as the scraggy looking girl who was either the president or vice of the christian club in school ran towards him with joy and hugged him, and then from the distance we kept, we noticed they had alot to talk about as they strolled away towards the admin block. That can never be his girl friend i said,spitefully.
I would like to describe myself as daring, and so while everyone sulked and lamented @ their loss, i opted to find out who he was and what he came for :D. So with my bizzy body self i waltzed towards his direction when he was less occupied and started a convo with him, which resulted in him being my very close friend in the end. He was a born again christian and had a babe at the time he hoped to marry when he eventually became a doctor. He was in his finals at Medical school and  it didn't stop me from having a huge crush on him o! i wished he was my boyfriend and i envied his girlfriend, in fact i constantly played out a scene in my mind where i took her space. it wasn't only me o!!, we were many.........
Months passed and we became better friends and he told me that his babe had dumped him for his besty, cos apparently she couldn't cope in the strict relationship of no sex/no kissing/no smooching/no intimate hugs, yes she couldn't,so she switched lanes. I felt sorry and in my small mind and small age i thought i would be the replacement(by this time i had just graduated from high school), but no he broke my heart and shattered my hopes as he did not show interest in me like that shaaaaa sobs*i didn't ask him o! but you just know when your not in the plan. something led to the other and we lost touch again!!.
several months passed maybe years and i bumped into him @ Ceddi Plaza in Abuja, we caught up on old times,talked about our statuses (relationship wise) and he told me more about Jesus Christ. At this point i still considered him even though i was with someone and he was single, but i gentle o! i couldn't make a move nor dump ma boo for him... its jest not right lol. We lost touch again......
In my final year in uni i found this card he gave me that had his number on it, i rang it, surprisingly he picked, he told me he had started salsa classes,moved away from Lagos permanently,and that he was engaged....'finally i thought to my self, even though it wasn't me' at least somebody could stay with him even with his uptight rules. let me not lie it stung small but not lovely crush though.....Sobs*
The London Notting Hill carnival was one event i planned not to miss, what are you talking about, i have to be there o! a
All these Jamaicans have dominated London, lemme go and show my Naija swag, and my sesky self. I succeeded in convincing a couple of my friends who swore they wouldn't attend for fear of getting stabbed with a white lie, get over yourself Bimbo i screamed, Iceprince and Wizkid are gonna be there i lied. The next day Na she i see for my door mouth . We grabbed our Nikon's and our human convoy headed for the Nigerian corner. 
Amidst the crowd it was him i saw first, with his lovely camera, cant remember the make, but it had this turn turn screen, and it could zoom something all the way in America lolz. I went close,tapped him and he squealed,carried me and spun me around like we were in some kind of movie. where have you been Ruddie? he asked... you've grown up so much!!. He took pictures of me, we went for a quick snack,(*stupid jerk chicken that wasn't grilled properly) but the moment was sweet. i noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding band so i asked about his marriage, guess what?????? he isn't married, at this point you probably think i'm so happy , i should probably tell him how i feel, nah!!! alot of water has passed under the bridge, i don't see him that way anymore. I asked him why he hadn't married his fiance and he said she cheated, he forgave her but couldn't spend the rest of his life with her, knowing she may do it again. I'm looking at him saying 'maybe you should adjust your values and he says to me' what will i tell God?'.
Now its kinda my turn to be on top hehehehehhe cos cos he's crazy bou me and i don't like him like that, the crush has died.....hehehehehe. But my question still remains how much can someone compromise to find favour in the eyes of God and in the eyes of Man? 

Saturday, 15 September 2012


OSM Vision - Peckz - 100 [ @PeckzOfficial ]


Hello guys,

Its been ages!!!!! I know, gawsh since January, i know right , im so sorry, im back now for good,better,best. I have a little gift for you, its a mixtape from Dj El Plaga, a UK based DJ. its a sick one especially if you love Ghanaian and Naija jamzzz. please download with a laptop or a device with great storage facility.

Monday, 30 January 2012


You see i talk too much, i just cant shut my freaking trap up!! wtf!!!my mouth has put me into trouble.Over sabi ,Bebeto, Oya,Puma ITK,ITS,Ele enu gbe oro, ELEDE KPOMO like me.
I walked into the first floor of the building to submit some files to my oga's and then decided to branch my friends cubicle, well he's my oga too but we are guys, as per homies. As i got to his table i cited something that looked like Dr Dre's Beat ear phones( not the head phones ),but they weren't, instead they were the ones done by our Ibo brothers.
Me: Hahahahaha *Chris how can u buy this 250 naira thing , your bigger than that now, chai u cant even spare 18k, im sure if u price well you'll get it for 13k'. Chris looked at me puzzled ,

Chris: what do u mean they are fake, cant u see the packaging?
Me: Haba Chris!! the original ones are heavier and the 'b' on the head is carved and not painted.
Chris:( now calling his friends from other cubicles) oya Ruddie repeat what u said
Me: Ah now Chris its true na its fake now, this thing is 250 naira, i have one as well, as a matter of fact it'll spoil b4 it clocks 1 month
Chris: Then i have to return it
Me : How much did u buy it?
Chris : 8k from Jerry
Me: Which Jerry
Chris: Jerry in charge of Base
Me: OMG shit men! i'm  finished, Chris please don't return it abeg, in fact i was wrong ,this your own is not the one for  250, its quite different, its not fake at all, don't mind me im was just teasing*SWEATING LIKE A CHRISTMAS GOAT*
Chris: Don't lie to me Ruddie joor! its fake, abi Shola what do you think
(Shola supervisor to Jerry laughing like a hyena,was also there)
Shola: Ruddie just forget about your evaluation for next month, cos u have spoilt Jerry's market
Me: (now begging them not to tell Jerry)
 So now they've used my opinion to reject Jerry's market, but really how can Jerry do that kind of a thing mmmsscchheewww.
Anyways my fingers are crossed and im hoping Shola doesn't spill if not im dead!!!.  To ease my tension i decided to watch lynxxx's ICE CREAM FACTORY VIDEO  feat ENZE and this is what i saw....
In case u haven't seen what i saw, well that girl has experienced what we call a nip slip, seriously wasn't this video edited, and by the way what was lynxxx thinking when he featured two girls lip syncing to one verse, right now i don't even know who ENZE is or who they are....Minxie was heart broken when she saw this video, after waiting so long, this was all and the feeling is mutual. He could have done better than those girls and also so much more with the video, it was bland. Personally i think the quality is commendable but the story line is confusing :s
Here's the real video:

Another video that still has me confused is 5 and 6 by NaetoC, i dont know if it is her real breast i can see here, but believe me this girl is so damn hot!!! i think i went to play when Assets were being shared...chai.

Also check out olumaintains new joint NAWTI by OLU MAINTAIN

Please put me in your prayers tonight, cos Jerry might just FUCK ME UP!!!

Saturday, 7 January 2012


 Happy New year Dear Rudelets,i'm sorry iv been mute and incommunicado since the new Year but the reason is because i really got hit below the belt by all the things happening around us in Nigeria
  • Fuel subsidy removal
  • Boko Haram
The issue of the Fuel subsidy removal has been a thorn in every ones flesh, due to the manner in which it was carried out and also the after effects of the removal. i have read various blogs and all concerning this issue and i was flabbergasted and overwhelmed with joy by the response of Nigerians especially the youths.
Different PEACEFUL protests were carried out in various states by concerned citizens home and abroad, and while some people preferred to go out and protest some others who couldn't resorted to social networks,blogs etc to express their disgust with GEJ's move.some called us 'Armchair protesters',but i say a rat can be killed in so many ways.
The Protests have been successful to a large extent ,owing to the fact that we as Nigerians have created awareness through the PEACEFUL movement called #OCCUPYNIGERIA, and the government have felt the impact of an Angry,Tired,Frustrated, and Awakened Nigeria. i commend the Brains behind this movement.
On the other hand i also want to commend the thoughts and tweets of @Almuyo on twitter who thinks that we should not allow ourselves to be used as dummies by a group of people who are claiming to protect our interest, so he has come up with #OCCUPYNIGERIAWITHSENSE, meaning while we fight for our rights on the streets and on the Internet , we also should protect ourselves and be well prepared for the rumoured strike days,which will shut down every business venture in Nigeria.
He also thinks we should be more organised and strategic. We should also know exactly what we are fighting for, some people are unsure about the concept or the idea behind the protest. None removal of fuel subsidy or cheap fuel prices? We should also have plans for the long run. While we talked over the phone, we agreed that we all as Nigerians should stop being greedy because that's the root of all our problems, you don't expect a man who took a loan from the bank, or some group of individuals or a Godfather for his campaign to get to the office and not pay back his debts with public funds thereby making the masses pay for it. we do not want expensive campaigns and photo shopped posters,all we want is for Presidential candidates to buy their forms from Inec and come for a TV Political Debate with their opponents, we want an Intelligent and able Leader.
Well Rome was not built in a day, and while we lay our foundation, let"s do it well.
I also want you guys to check out this email exchange between Mal. Sanusi Lamido Sanusi and a patriotic Nigerian AISHA MAHMOUD a 23year old doctor in Ireland, here's the link
The NLC have also declared a Nation wide strike to commence on Monday,9-01-2011 till further notice.Here are some steps we can take as individuals to ensure that we, our loved ones and colleagues remain safe and on alert during this time:
  • i encourage you to stock up on food, water and essential commodities
  • Always make certain about the safety or otherwise of an area before heading or sending loved ones in that direction;
  • Always inform your loved ones of your whereabouts or follow up with your loved ones on their whereabouts; and,
  • Confirm and share information with your peers at work on the security situation of a particular area using your phone, email or whichever social media tools you have available  
For other aproko on the issues @ hand ,visit the following links;